Throw-Down Time

An Open Note to All the People Who Visit This Blog (aka “Dustin Colburn”):
You may have noticed that the links on the left of this page have been changing recently. I have moved some up and down, based on how current I deem them to be. You may have also noticed that my brother Paul’s blog slid off the list a while back. That wasn’t because of any blood feud; it was merely because he didn’t update it for about a year there. Well, now he’s got a new website, and it’s full of bells and whistles and shit, so you might want to check it out. The link is on the left, or you can access it directly at http://web.mac.com/paulman97970 (but then quickly come right back here, or at least go to www.ryansitzman.com).
Now, a disclaimer: On Paul’s site, there is a bit of shit talking done on the part of the third-born Sitzman, and that shit talking is directed towards me, the primogénito. As you know if you’re an avid follower of www.ryansitzman.com (a category of people which is sometimes also called “Andy Parsons”), that particular Ryan Sitzman-themed website was originally formed to provide a venue for my A-Z Music Review Revue. That was basically a collection of music reviews that I originally sent out by email, and then decided to sex-up a bit by making them cyberfied. Which worked for a while. But now…
Well, you may have noticed that the music review emails have been arriving in your inbox…a little less frequently, let’s say. But that’s not to say that I’ve forgotten about them, nor should you think that I’ve given up writing them. As a matter of fact (and this fact actually is true, unlike many of the “facts” I write on this site), I go into every weekend planning on writing a review. Unfortunately, I also leave every weekend without having written a review. I think that my problem is over-ambition.
The “current” review, “J,” is one that I’ve been working on in my head and even have begun to literally write. But, I bought the CDs over a year ago. Additionally, I have been buying more and more “J” CDs, and now I’m just overwhelmed. I’ve bought three Judas Priest CDs, two Elton Johns, a JEM, and a smattering of about 5 others. But basically, I’ve lacked the motivation to do anything besides listen to them on my ipod on my way to work (which I actually have been doing for the last two weeks, in order to be able to “write the J review this weekend”).
Well, now I have the motivation. Paul has started an A-Z music review, also. I think we should turn to the Bible for a little guidance here, and remember the story of Jacob and Esau. They were the two boys born to Issac. Esau, the one was born first, was all hairy, but at least he had the birthright. Esau is me. Jacob was the second to come out. That’s Paul. At one point Jacob swindles Esau out of the birthright because Esau trades it for some lentil soup and bread…Hmm…OK, here we go. Near the end of Issac’s life, both sons wanted the birthright, so while Esau was out hunting (something I do all the time), Jacob snuck up to his dad while wearing the skin of some dead animal. The hairy animal skin convinced Issac that he was blessing Esau, although he actually gave the blessing to Jacob.
So, what does this story teach us? First of all, that my memory retention of Bible stories is significantly lower than I’d imagined before. Secondly, it shows us that Paul has tried to steal my music review idea—my birthright, if you will—and use it as his own. Never mind that I stole it from him in the first place. That’s irrelevant. In fact, forget this whole parable. In any case, “Esau” is a total douche name.
Summary: Paul has thrown down the gauntlet. I will pick up the gauntlet and say, “Excuse me, little brother, you seem to have dropped this gauntlet.” Because frankly, I don’t know what the fuck a gauntlet is, and probably wouldn’t know what it was even if one were dropped before my feet. Which it is. So, not having a better emergency response plan, www.ryansitzman.com and Sitzco Amalgamated Enterprises, LLC, will respond with some new, improved, and altogether kick-ass content that’ll blow the bullshit off your face. Soon. Once I get good internet access. Until then, look at Paul’s site. But as you do, keep these questions in mind:
1. Does Paul’s site include a shrine to his dead cat?
2. Does Paul’s site have pictures from Argentina?
3. Is Paul’s site called www.ryansitzman.com?
If you find that the answer to any of these questions is “No…Hey, what the fuck’s going on here?!”, then you should realize that although Paul’s site is “pretty,” in the end it’s simply just not www.ryansitzman.com.
WWW.RYANSITZMAN.COM. Accept no substitutes (except this blog, maybe).

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Sitzman

Errand-Running Monkey at Sitzblog
Hey! I'm Ryan Sitzman, the person in charge of Sitzblog. If you want to know more about me, you can check out my profile on Google or go to my personal site, RyanSitzman.com. You can also click on any of the redundant little boxes to the left and it should take you to my profiles for all kinds of social networks. Thanks!

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