OK.

So why is green such hot shit, then? Did you ever think about it? When we think of colors, sure, we think of the primaries, but next we think of green, but not orange or purple. Why the bias? Here’s the sad truth, folks: green is just yellow mixed with blue, while orange is yellow and red, and purple is simply a splash of red mixed with a dash of blue.

Together we can stop this. Instead of greenery, ask your landscape designer for some purplery! Don’t be green with envy; instead, be orange with anger! Why ask your electric company to use green energy when they could be using mauve energy! And finally, stop eating collared greens and start eating collared ochres!

We’re coming for you, green.