Bidets

"The Great White Wonder." Cue the Jaws theme or something approximately as dramatic.

“The Great White Wonder.” Cue the Jaws theme or something approximately as dramatic.

We’re now a full week into Blogtoberfest, and I’m happy that I’ve gotten a post done every day (yesterday’s was a post reviewing the 1983 movie WarGames on Cinematic Attic, another site I run). Today’s won’t be long, but it’s something close to my heart. Well, maybe not close to my heart, but at least close to another part of my anatomy.

I’m talking about bidets. As a note to my Costa Rican readers, you’re not supposed to pronounce the “t.” Same goes for buffet, filet, valet, chalet, and Chevrolet. Now that that’s taken care of, what could have possibly lit enough of a fire under my ass to get me to write about bidets? Well, if you had a bidet, you’d not be asking me that, since you’d know that a bidet is the perfect tool for extinguishing fires under your ass.

We actually have a bidet in our house. They’re obviously available here in Costa Rica, since we bought it here, but they’re not that common. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen one in the US. I have seen them in other parts of Latin America like Argentina, Chile, and Cuba, and I saw some in Germany, too. Interestingly, I never saw any in France, but I’ve only spent about a grand total of two weeks there. So the point is, I knew they existed, but I never would have thought of buying one for my own house until some visiting Argentinians commented that they were great.

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Hesitant at first, we finally decided to take their advice and those Argentinians were right: bidets are great. This article from Slate also strongly argues the point. And really, if you think about it, it does make a good point: why would you clean your hands with soap and water, but just wipe the dirtiest part of your body with some paper? It just doesn’t make sense to not have a bidet, or at least some way to clean your butt in a way that’s at least halfway sanitary (you can order a toilet seat that’ll spray some water in your crack, for example, if you don’t feel like going full bidet).

When we’re on vacation from Costa Rica–which is a weird phrase, when you think about it–one of the first things that we miss is our bidet. It really is that useful.

I know that people in the US will decry it for being too “French,” but don’t let etymology take precedence over hygiene, my friends. And besides, what’s so all-American about having a dirty butt? Nothing, I say!

Has anyone else got a bidet in their house? Do you use it often, and do you think it’s amazing? If so, please feel free to leave a comment. If not, please feel free to keep your comments and your questionably clean bum to yourself.

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Sitzman

Errand-Running Monkey at Sitzblog
Hey! I'm Ryan Sitzman, the person in charge of Sitzblog. If you want to know more about me, you can check out my profile on Google or go to my personal site, RyanSitzman.com. You can also click on any of the redundant little boxes to the left and it should take you to my profiles for all kinds of social networks. Thanks!

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