¿¿Are You Ready For Some Fútbol??

Ah yes, Fútbol. The world sport (in all the world but the US). As many of you know, I used to play “semi-pro” fútbol back in Colorado, with a little equipo I like to call The Unnecessary Umlauts. In fact, everyone liked to call them that. Mainly, The Unnecessary Umlauts was a sort of Capri-Sun-drinking, halftime-cigarette-smoking juggernaut, but occasionally we also played soccer, when the need arose.
Unfortunately, they take their soccer here more seriously. I am not sure how God fanangled it, but I somehow played soccer TWICE last week. Both times I nearly exploded from over-exertion. The first time, on Monday, I played arena soccer with Adrian, a friend who owns an internet café here in San Ramón. The second time, I played “microfútbol” on a cement court at the bottom of the hill that my school is situated on. It was some hot shit. The game was teachers vs. students. A rag-tag group of five of us teachers grouped together to get our asses handed to us on a gilded platter by those little fuckers. Fortunately, two of the five students were in classes that I teach, so at least I can flunk them. Anyhow, here are some “action!” photos from the game, taken by my co-worker Catalina:

This is the train that hit us. In the back row, at far left, is my tenth grader César. Two people to the right of him is Manfred, from my 11th grade. Curiously enough, they will both be getting F´s in English this semester…

Here is me on the court of battle. This picture demonstrates three of my Five Tactical S´s of Fútbol:
1. Standing 2. Squinting 3. Sweating 4. Squinting 5. Swearing in German

I love this photo because even though it´s real, it totally looks like someone Photoshopped me into it. Also, it looks like I´m doing some sort of Kung-Fu shit. Also, the Kung-Fu shit appears to be completely ineffective, as the ball is long behind me.

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Errand-Running Monkey at Sitzblog
Hey! I'm Ryan Sitzman, the person in charge of Sitzblog. If you want to know more about me, you can check out my profile on Google or go to my personal site, RyanSitzman.com. You can also click on any of the redundant little boxes to the left and it should take you to my profiles for all kinds of social networks. Thanks!

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7 thoughts on “¿¿Are You Ready For Some Fútbol??

  1. I got your playing card in the pack, along with the rest of the DDR team and some of Italy. I traded you for a Ronaldo. You’re moving up in the soccer world.

  2. Umm… I’m not sure you’re supposed to call students “fuckers”. I’m surprised your pasty ghost like color did not inhibit their vision!

  3. Paul: Didn´t the Godfather teach you anything? You never go against the family.
    Kristen: My students shouldn´t be reading this website…and it´s more of an abstract term anyhow. And regarding my skin color: kiss my ass, bigot!

  4. Hej Ryan,

    are you sure you took part of that soccer game? You seem to do some strange DDR Kung-Fu. Looks good!

  5. Sitz, where’d you get that DDR jersey? I have that one, got it at Kaufland for a cool 4 euros.

  6. Bobby,
    I got that DDR jersey in a little hamlet called Erlangen, at a store called Kaufland. Also about 4 Euros. I was with the Awesomest Guy On Earth; maybe you´ve met him. His name was…wait a minute!

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