How My Mind Works

Yesterday I was eating lunch in the cafeteria* at work, and a thought occurred to me: If** God really is all-powerful, then right here and now, He*** could inflate my body until I exploded.

Hopefully he doesn’t.

*First Digression: I was eating what they call pastel aleman,**** which I guess translates linguistically to “German pie,” but culinarily, it translates into “casserole with mashed potato base, chopped hot dog, and melted cheese on top.” It’s pretty tasty, actually, and one of my more-liked dishes from the cafeteria.

**Second Digression: Here I don’t mean to say God isn’t all-powerful, though; it’s more of a ponderance.

***Third Digression: I say “He” just because I needed to use some sort of pronoun to avoid the redundancy of using the word “God” twice in a sentence… maybe God isn’t a “He” or a “She” or even a “G-d”; in fact, wouldn’t God be above and beyond gender? One way or the other, grammatically-speaking, “God” would still fall into the category of a third-person singular noun, and you gotta put an “s” at the end of most of your verbs that you conjugate to match a third-person singular noun, people! (As I tell my students)

****Fourth Digression, a Digression from the First Digression: I sometimes confuse pastel aleman and pastor aleman, at least when I’m speaking. The latter means “German Shepherd.” Believe me, people aren’t nearly as friendly if you tell them you had German Shepherd for lunch.

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