Well, I may not be using Facebook anymore. I think my account got disabled, possibly because I joked to an old friend that he should stop hassling me or I’d have to contact the authorities (and if that’s the case, then just a reminder: NOTHING YOU PUT ON THE INTERNET IS PRIVATE and FACEBOOK READS YOUR MESSAGES and FACEBOOK DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU’RE JOKING).

In any case, when I try to sign on now, it says that I need to confirm my identity. To do that, I need to receive or send an SMS. Well, I don’t have a cell phone, but Angela does. So I tried to have them send an SMS code to her phone, but it didn’t work. Then I even tried having them send a code to my mom’s phone, and they sent the code, but they said that I’d tried to get a code too many times.

Then I tried to send a customer service request with a copy of my ID (according to Facebook’s instructions, that’s what you have to do if you don’t have a mobile phone), but Facebook has no customer service, and it sent me back an email saying that my account wasn’t blocked.

Aaarrrghhh, freaking idiots.

So basically, it would seem there’s no way to solve this problem.

Matt: If you’re reading this, send me an email if you want to keep chatting.
Lucy: Sorry about Scrabble. Guess we’ll just have to play in real life.
Facebook: Kiss my ass.

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3 thoughts on “Farcebook

  1. I just got this text from 32665. You know obscure languages, can you give me a hand on this one?

    “Bekraftat! Skicka 32665 for att ange din status.

    Du stanger av Facebook-sms genom att svara “stop”

    Svara med “help” for fler valmojligheter”


  2. I think it should stop now. It may be my friend King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden just joking around again…

    Actually, it was that code to reset my Facebook account, and I guess it worked. Although now I’m not sure I want Facebook, since it was such a pain in the ass. It had thought your number was mine, so I removed it from the settings. You shouldn’t get any more messages but if you do, tell me.

    And my Facebook is in Swedish. Yours isn’t? How will you ever learn the different Swedish words for “blocked,” “disabled,” and “deactivated”?

    Thanks for helping with this shit, by the way. I never thought I’d say this, but perhaps you should teach mom how to send a text message. I don’t know how to do it myself, but seeing as how she’s got a phone, it could come in handy some day.

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