Kitsch Close Reading

I mentioned yesterday that I was going to do another duck-related post today, and I wasn’t joking. Look at this picture:

I took it back at the end of June, but I’ve been wanting to comment on it since then. The more I look at it, the more bizarre it becomes.
First of all, what are you looking at? Answer: It’s a wall decoration / plaque thingy hanging in our TV room. It was given to us recently by my grandma. It’s made of gold-colored plastic mounted on wood. To be honest, I thought it was strange when I first saw it, but Angela loved it (but wouldn’t she, though??). But I have to say it’s really grown on me. Why? If you look closer (click on the picture if you want a larger version), you start to notice really weird stuff:
1. The deer. Two deer, right? Wrong! There are three. The third one is hiding below the one on the right. What is it hiding from? Could it possibly be hiding from…
2. The duck. I don’t know how they roll in the forest, but it seems to me that this duck is scaring the shit out of the deer. I just imagine the one deer saying to the other, “They found me… I don’t know how, but they found me… Run, Marty!” But what is the duck doing, anyhow? Could it possibly be trying to escape from…
3. The hunting blind. Yep, maybe this scene isn’t so tranquil, after all. I’m not certain that that thing on the right is a hunting blind, but it sure looks like one of those towers that hunters hang out in while they wait for animals to kill to come along. And maybe it’s just because a possibly distant relative worked on the Zapruder film, but I can swear I see the shadow of a rifle against the golden glint of the pine tree. Oh, and speaking of the pine trees…
4.  The stumps. Sure, it’s got trees, but I also count four stumps– how about you? I’m starting to think the title of this might not be something like “Idyllic Nature,” but rather something along the lines of “Deerpocalypse.”
Suffice it to say, this is probably the coolest decoration we have in our house at the moment. To quote the end of the Guns N’ Roses video for “Don’t Cry“: 

There’s A Lot Goin’ On.
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