Jon Beyoncé Jovi

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I’ve been talking about conditional tenses lately on my Sitzman ABC language learning blog. If you’re curious, I’ve talked about both first and second conditionals, and you’re welcome to check them out. But that’s not why I’m mentioning them now. I’m mentioning them because of Beyoncé: 
The reason I used this video on the ABC blog is because it shows really good and interesting use of the second conditional tense, which is used when you talk about something unreal or unlikely (like Beyoncé being a boy). It’s interesting, because I’ve had students use this video in two different presentations lately, but I’d not heard the song six months ago. I guess in addition to living on top of a mountain, I’m also living under a rock, apparently. The song’s lyrics, grammar, and message are good, and Beyoncé’s looking pretty good as a cop, I have to say! That girl could slam me again a police car and beat the crap out of me with a nightstick any day! Wait, that doesn’t make any sense…

Also, Bon Jovi and/or Jon Bon Jovi have come up multiple times in both student presentations and textbooks, strangely enough. One student played this song (but not the video… I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, though):

Alright, never mind, it was definitely a good thing she didn’t show the video. I remember thinking even in 1994 or whenever this video came out that it was ridiculous and frustrating and that it didn’t make any damn sense. Is the point supposed to be that if you’re a cheating jerk, you should also be a hypocrite and go blow up your ex’s new boyfriend’s apartment? Because that’s what it seems to be about.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like both Bon Jovi (the group) and Jon Bon Jovi (the lead singer’s handle when going solo), but they were best around the time of New Jersey and Slippery When Wet, when they seemed more like a trashy, glammy, East Coast version of John Mellencamp times four or five (evidently I like Bon Jovi, but not enough to know how many people are in the band).

Hmm, where was I going with all this? Oh yes, music and videos in class. Well, guess I got off on a tangent there, so I may as well put up a few more Bon Jovi videos. Here’s what I’m talking about:

And here’s the video for what’s probably my favorite Bon Jovi song. If you’re feeling like a Monday (and today is a Monday, after all), then it’s got some good advice for you, my friend:

I guess my second conditional phrase of the day is this: “If I were Beyoncé, I would call up Bon Jovi to collaborate on a concept album about a rocket-powered Chevy full of single ladies rocking in space.”

Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

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Sitzman

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