A few weeks ago, my brother Paul asked me on his website if I wanted to enter politics and run for co-president with him. I tried to put a reply on his website from a few different computers, but for some reason I was unable to. The answer: Hell yeah.

Obviously, my co-presidental running mate brings a whole wealth of foreign policy hoodlumism experience to the ticket, but I myself have also stirred up the establishment, too. And, since I’m now running for office, I’ll officially beat the press and release my own incriminating picture. The following picture of me was taken a few years ago at the World Naked Bike Ride in Boulder.

It was a sort of protest against overusing oil, so I made a sign that said “I don’t need oil to be greasy.” Unlike many other fellow bikers, I didn’t go naked, mainly cause I don’t like riding bikes anyhow, and I couldn’t have imagined they’d be any more comfortable naked. Oh yeah, and that’s a Viking helmet over my bike helmet.

Now that that’s out of the way, it’s smooth sailing for our political future. Paul, we’ve only got two weeks to convince the electorate to vote us into the presidency, so we better get going. I suppose that our biggest disadvantage—that we have no political experience—can be cancelled out by our biggest advantage: the nation isn’t sick and tired of hearing our names for the past two years.
Yet.