As I mentioned before, I have a bit of a vendetta against the Costa Rican electricity and phone company, the ICE. I also am trying to go up against the Ministerio de Migracion or something like that to get my permanent residence, and now I’ve added yet another formidable rival to my growing list of Monolithic Nemeses: The Holy Catholic Church. Whether it’s holy or not can be a matter of interminable discussion; I just think it sounds much more impressive if you call it The Holy Catholic Church, as opposed to “The church in Palmares.” Anyhow, they’re asking for all sorts of crap and papers and certifications and other things in order just to talk to a priest, including the best man’s ID card number and possibly his baptismal certificate. They’re very firm on these strange matters, and talking to the people in the church office is akin to talking to a Stalinist bureaucrat from the Ministry Of Permanent Visas To Capitalist Countries. So Paul, if you’re reading this in Australia, why don’t you just send those things to me, you know, immediately…or three months ago, if possible? No big deal, right?
Anyhow, things are also being held up because Angela and I are now in sort of a No-Man’s-Land of marriage status. Since we’ve been legally married, we can’t tell the priest we’re single (and the civil registry doesn’t show us as single any more). But, the central registry in San Jose hasn’t recorded our legal marriage yet, and it’s three and a half months and counting that we’ve been waiting for those fucks to do so. Apparently, we need to give them a bribe, but it’s a pain in the ass to get to San Jose and all. Yes, that’s right, the Registro Civil is made up of a bunch of corrupt fuckers. Shocker. Since we don’t have any legal marriage status now, you’d think that at least we should be able to commit some misdemeanors without reprucussions, but you’d be thinking wrong.
Anyhow, please pray to God that He’ll help us and protect us from His supposed followers, and the He will let them realize that the church should be a tool to help people (especially people who just want to get married and have been jumping through their flaming hoops for six months), and not a bureaucratic institution that is too busy to even listen to its adherents if an arbitrary bullshit protocol isn’t followed to the word (and notice I didn’t say The Word).
In related news, if you’re coming to the wedding in July, surprise! It might be a nice, al fresco affair in a field somewhere! Be sure to bring an umbrella and a dish to share. Also, a related job posting: Now Hiring Minsters! Must be able to at least seem like you should be marrying people. Priest-y looking collar and retro priest hats both a plus. Apply at the main office of sitzblog.com.
Sitzman
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